In the limbo of Gamine and Nymphet
Anonymous said: It's me again, Kyleigh. I'm gonna make a tumblr soon, haha. I think I identify myself as a nymphet (though I wont be for long, I'm 17 in one and half months) because it's helping me figuring out my sexuality. Like I realize I am both pansexual and demisexual. I like older men and love tomboys and sometimes develop some feelings for nymphets alike. I can say that I've developed some feelings for you too, giggles.
Aww how cute! When you make your blog definitely come find me so we can actually like talk and in private. What’s with the wait though? I’m a pansexual too, apparently tall white boys and black girls with good smiles are my weakness haha
Modcloth is having a big sale and I have no money and I really want to get clothing that I’ve had my eye on for some time, but I don’t want to feel guilty about spending money :((((((((((
My aunt (whose more like my sister) just gave birth to her second kid. I am no longer the only granddaughter. I love her son like my own kid so I can only imagine how much I am going to love this one.
A lot of girls who are sexually abused sometimes cannot discern the fact that you can have love without sex. A lot of girls who were sexually abused become extremely terrified of men. Some girls feel that they need someone to have worth. And then there are the girls who come out of it and seem completely normal.
I thought I was one of those “normal” girls till I turned 18. I never once blamed myself, or anyone except my perpetrators, I didn’t feel like I needed to prove my worth, or that I could never be with or trust a man ever again (at first there’s always some issues with that, but I moved on) but I did realize that I was sexually abused during two very vital points of my life: as a toddler while I was realizing the difference between boys and girls, and while I was 10 and going through puberty. So some weird things became a part of my sexuality (age play and rape play). Instead of trying to change these things about me and shaming myself, I just decided to roll with it. But my sexuality and my past experiences have combined to create something that’s toxic.
Basically, I feel that the majority of my desirability is my age; I’m incredibly young and developed and sexually precocious. I have felt this way because of my abuse, but also how everyone has always sexualized me (being called jailbait, joking how I was going to become a stripper, constant talk of my breasts) this is done by peers, parents’ friends and family. I honestly thought that at 18 I was going to be less desirable because there was no taboo or danger surrounding my sexuality any longer. Because of my feelings and the treatment I have had until now (a lot of it stopped once I turned 18 which feeds into the initial problem) I feel that men ONLY want extremely young girls and that the media and societal constructs really perpetrate that. Once I heard a man in his 30’s talk about how he preferred older women to younger women and that the oldest he’s ever been with was 24; I thought this man was a freak, and then I proceeded to think that he only felt that way because he’s never been with a young girl of the variety that I am. This is really toxic behavior.
When I read Lolita (I heard about it and decided to read it to pick at the scab of my abuse) I found out about the archetype “nymphet” and instantly identified with it. It changed two things within me. First it made me think that maybe the sexual attention I get isn’t because of my knowledge or my womanly form (despite underdeveloped lower half of my body) and It gave me a stake over my own sexuality, and was very empowering.The only problem is, is that there is an expiration date on that as it’s main focus is youth. I thought that my sexuality gave me power over people because of my youth and it didn’t matter what kind of people it attracted, but now I realize that I could end up causing more damage by sleeping with these people and engaging in my kinks. I mean it got to the point where I would prefer someone who liked very young girls (ebiphiles) just so I can pretty much repeat my abuse.
Anonymous said: If someone were to get you something on your wishlist what would be the thing you'd need most?
The thing I would need the most would probably be the shampoo haha. But one of the books on there would also work as those are the texts required for my classes this year
Anonymous said: Hey Kyleight! I've been following you for quite a while ever since I've learnt the word "Lolita" and "Nymphet"! I kinda get addicted and wanting to learn about more it. It kinda help me get through my depressive phase. Days ago I have this weird dream, I've dreamt of Dolores waking up in my bed and smiling to me. It's like .. the nymphet in myself had awaken.
Wow, I’m really happy for you. I know how hard it is to deal with depression, so seriously, keep using what works for you. I kind of get like that too, (really obsessive) first it was Danny Elfman (let us not talk about that) and now it’s Lolita. Thank you for telling me that
I think my favorite thing I’ve ever done is describe Humbert as “thinks he’s cooler than he actually is”
pastel-whorehouse said: Okay let's talk on private. I study communications and all that. Most books are social representations and the author adds his own conflicts (talkin bout Nabokov, he's repetitive, in most of his books he talks bout love/relationships but forbidden ones). Idk if I explained myself wrong on those things I sent prolly did bc I'm on my phone and I can't really check it. Sorry bout that. I'm not pro pedophilia. I think it's very wrong and sick when people even think bout a child as a sexual object+
Ok I wanted to post this, just so if anyone is giving you crap from my side they can stop. I’m going to message you on private now ok? I think you may have explained yourself wrong and people have a hard time distinguishing my voice in writing because I think things read as one way but just kidding, I sound like a bitch.
I don’t want to fight or be rude or anything, but damnit, debating is just the best. So sorry if I caused you any destresed
pastel-whorehouse said: And I'm not pro pedophilia, dear. I'm not underage or want to be with an underage boy. I'm not the one calling herself a nymphette. And I'm not the one with a blog with the word nymphette all over it but saying I do not considers myself one. Like? That's honestly dumb. I'm just stating that a nymphet is someone that seduces older men and calling yourself one but being against 12 year olds in a fucking book seducing older men IN A FUCKING BOOK is just fucking dumb.
I am sorry, but when I was an underaged girl I was in many a relationship with older men because I could handle it. I generally say girls shouldn’t because most can’t. You don’t really know me, but because I generally think 12 year olds shouldn’t date 36 year old men I’m suddenly not a nymphet? An archetype that exists outside of Lolita? And Dolores doesn’t seduce Humbert. Jesus, if you think that, that pretty much means you’re not understanding the book. 12 year old girls and teen girls and younger flirt with men because they have a new budding sexuality that they are exploring, that doesn’t mean that all of them can handle sex? That’s the reason why most underaged girls shouldn’t be sleeping with older men? I am saying that the world is many shades of grey and that generally (just to aire on the side of caution) that most young girls shouldn’t get involved with older men? I feel like you’re implying I’m a hypocrite, but I’m not. In the case of Lolita, there was no real seduction happening, I mean Dolores calls what he does to her raping, so why isn’t it? Because she got herself into something she didn’t know much about because it’s 1947 and sexual education is the devil?
I’m confused with why it’s “dumb” I don’t consider myself a nymphet anymore? I’ve had this blog for 2 years now. I was one when I started it and I like to keep my blog the same.
I think you should read Lolita again and this time put your “critical thinking” cap on this time
pastel-whorehouse said: Not trolling. You can like Humbert. Nabokov said that he created that character to cause conflict because you can't really hate him (words of the person who wrote Lolita, I don't think u know more than Navokov bout Lolita). If you think girls should not be with older men then you should stop calling yourself a nymphet bc the meaning of that word comes from "nubile" which translates to "ready to marry" &it was first used by Nabokov referring to Lolita, the 12 year old seducing an old man.
He created the character to cause conflict because Humbert’s voice is the only one you get to hear and he tries so desperately to make you like him, just like he tries to make himself like him? In his own story he is the hero, the lover, the saint. Just like all of us are in our own stories. We believe him because he is intellectual and is very eloquent and that’s the conflict. You don’t have to hate Humbert of course, that gentleman can certainly turn a phrase and middle aged women seem to love him, but he is not the hero he desperately tries to get the audience to believe he is.
Now I don’t really call myself a nymphet now because I’m of age, and sure Nabokov coined the phrase nymphet but he didn’t create the entire archetype. That was there for a very long time, I mean Delilah from the bible is in there, as well as some Greek myths (specifics are escaping me at the moment) nymphets are physically nubile (meaning they can get pregnant because they just started their period and therefore can get married) but just kidding they aren’t nubile by today’s standards because they’re in middle school and high school.
Nymphets don’t have to return the favor of liking or wanting to be older men. Like most nymphets through out literature and history, it actually doesn’t matter what they want or think, as long as they are weirdly womanly and sexually precocious and older men want them so your weird pro-pedophila argument is void.
daddyvinnie said: Dear Nymphette, I just saw your "Lolita" explanation post for the novel. I've taught the Novel for years, and your presentation is better than most. The Romantic tradition is only one that Nabokov played with. If you have a chance to pick up The Annotated Lolita, there is much to the novel that is explained in the notes of that edition. it's really quite good. Plenty of things to discuss and argue about. Of course the unreliable narrator and fact we never get Lolita's own voice are key! Thanks!
Thank you! I actually have the annotated version of it (ironically a 35 year old man gave me that copy for my 16th birthday?) I read it with all the annotated footnotes the second time I’ve read this book. It always bugs me when people say “DON’T ROMANTICIZE LOLITA FROWNY FACE THERE IS NOTHING GOOD OR ROMANTIC ABOUT A BOOK ABOUT A PEDOPHILE ANGRY FACE” my response is like did you pay attention in English 11 in high school? You do know you can romanticize something without it being a love story. (Like the Scarlett Letter or The Great Gatsby but if you watch those movies, well then yes they are love stories)
I would have included more (and did include more in the slide show, it’s about 15 slides long) but Tumblr has a 10 image limit so I tried to keep it to the meat and bones